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17 May 1996

Exhaustion

Inhale…exhale…

Inhale……exhale……

Inhale………exhale………

Each breath comes with slightly more difficulty.

Each breath wanted slightly less.

At first I fight the pressure on my lungs.

I gasp.

Reach for my inhaler.

Asthma?

Stress?

(gasp)

Then my hands become heavy

and I cannot lift them.

Will not lift them.

Don’t care to lift them.

Melancholia gives way to

depression…immobility…

Darkness envelopes me.

Inhale…………

Exhale.

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