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7 August 2009

Fist

How could she let him hit her?

That shit would never happen to me!

The first time a man raised his hand,

I would strike first,

bringing him to his knees.

I ain’t no Miss Celie –

no man would ever fuckin’ beat me!

 

I couldn’t possibly understand,

so I never saw it coming.

One day I woke up and

the one I judged              was me.

This wasn’t a Lifetime movie.

There were no warning signs

hidden in the deafening silence;

there was no honeymoon phase

or obvious cycles of violence.

 

I don’t even know when it began –

I just woke up one day,

wondering why I never ran.

 

No money of my own,

lease not in my name.

Screaming shook the walls

when we were alone,

but we were the perfect couple

when company came, so

“our” friends were none the wiser.

 

And when I finally            confessed

and asked for help,

they called me a liar.

“You don’t look like the type

to let someone hit you…”

 

There was no afterschool special

to            prepare                               

me for this –

no one ever told me

that my girlfriend could

raise her

fist.

 

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